Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Dec. 29th, 2009

Hi to All,

Wow, Christmas has come and gone in a flash! Aimee, Eric & Turtle did come in last week for Christmas and left yesterday. It was wonderful yet very hectic.

We cooked Christmas Eve and had the family together including Alexis. It was great! We were all together. That's really what Christmas is all about!

We all cooked Christmas Day dinner. Linda & Michael did the turkey and mashed potatoes. I did stuffed artichoke casserole and oyster dressing. Aimee cooked the green bean casserole and Eric did the sweet potatoes. It was delicious. Well, as delicious as I can taste. My smell and taste buds are dying. It's getting harder and harder to find something I can actually taste and enjoy.

Saturday after Christmas we were all supposed to go out to dinner but Mom didn't feel up to it and Aunt Julie had hurt her knee. Soooooooooo, Linda, Michael, Aimee, Eric and I went to dinner. It was very nice and enjoyable (a little sad without Mom & Dad) but still nice to be together, eat good food and not have to cook or clean up! lol.

Aimee & I were able to watch the new Harry Potter movie "The half blood prince" which was great! We are Harry Potter fans!!!

We had a lot of commotion Sunday about head lice that Aimee & Eric got from his sister's children. Lots of cleaning, spraying, washing, vacuuming, using Rid etc. Hopefully, that's all taken care of.

I am exhausted!! I slept in today. I don't have any real plans for today. I did some Peer Volunteer work earlier and I do have more laundry to do.

I hope you all had a great Christmas and have a wonderful, safe New Year!!

Thank you all for reading and sharing and caring!

Peace and Hope,


Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Tuesday Dec. 15th, 2009

Hi to All,

Yes, it's Tuesday and I'm fighting the blues. I don't know what's wrong? I just feel myself getting lower & lower. I'm actually becoming less social too. I can watch TV a little bit but not too much as it irritates me immensely. I do some things around the house. Most people irritate me,

I don't have a stereo anymore so I can't really listen to music.

I should be happy. Linda & Michael have moved home. I have seen Aimee several times in the last few months (which is unusual, great but unusual) but often I find myself tearing up and I don't know why. I guess this demon inside me is causing the sadness?! It causes so many unpleasant feelings! I still have some rageful anger too. That's pretty scary!
What happened to happiness??? I don't know where it's gone. I pray for peace and sanity. Where are my prayers going these days??

I know I'm declining because things are getting harder and harder. I hope I am getting the real study medication and not the placebo. I'm needing all the help I can get!!

Aimee & Eric & Turtle are coming in next week for Christmas. I am excited about that. I hope I can shake the blues soon!

What's wrong with me?????

Peace and Hope,


Friday, December 11, 2009

It's Friday again

Hi to All,

I'm not sure where this week went. I think I slept it away! I took a lot of naps this week.

Mom and Dad are doing OK. Dad seems to be slowing down. After all, he's 87, but he's always been like an entergizer bunny that keeps going and going and going.

Linda & Michael are doing well. Michael is still setting up his office and computer. He's a workhorse. Linda still has boxes to go through.

Aimee & Eric are fine. Aimee & I talked on the phone for a long time. She's so funny. She really makes me laugh. I miss her!! Turtle is enjoying the cold weather by wearing his bumble bee costume!! He's soooo cute. lol.

Jamey and her family are fine. As is Julie and hers.

I went to the therapist today feeling ok yet tired. I spoke with her about my EX and the fact that I didn't think I had completely gotten over him. I still dream about him a lot. Sometimes, I find myself thinking of him. Don't misunderstand me. I don't want him back or anything! He was a jerk, a user, a liar! I told the therapist this and she drew a picture of a man. She put a pink spot on one of his arms and one of his legs. She asked me to hold the picture up in front of me and asked me what color he was. I said "White" (she had drawn a picture in black on white paper. Then, she told me to put the paper very close to my eyes,putting the pink in front of me and asked me what color he was and I said "Pink." She told me I was right. She said many women don't look at the whole man. They look at the parts of a man they like/love (the pink spots) but not the whole picture. She said perhaps I was missing the good/pink part of my EX that I had loved and not the whole real man. It made me cry a lot but I think she made a lot of sense. I do miss the few spots of Rusty that I loved but not the real Rusty who was not that good and couldn't have helped me through all this! She's quite a therapist!

So I've cried some day. I went to the grocery. I came home. Took care of Winston and Simon. We ate dinner. I did the dishes. I did some Peer Volunteer work which I love to do. Now, I'm off to bed.

I'm tired and lonely but I guess I'll survive.

I'm still blessed with a wonderful family but you can't take your family to bed with you at night!

I've spent the better part of my adult life alone since my husband died. Sometimes, it's just hard!

Wishing you all a good night.

Peace and Hope,


Tuesday, December 8, 2009

The Day after Pearl Harbor Day!

Hi to All,

Whew, am I tired! The CBS crew came in yesterday morning @ 7:30am. Aimee flew in Sunday evening. Dad, Linda, Michael and I had gone to the play "Beauty and the Beast" on Sunday afternoon. Gloria stayed with Mom (What a jewel)!

Aimee & I visited a short time on Sunday evening the I feel asleep.

On Monday AM, Erin H. with the Nat'l Alzheimer's Assn in Chicago arrived here @7:15am to be with me, Mom and Aimee. She's so wonderful! Then, the CBS Evening News crew arrived with Amy the producer from New York and Dr. Jon LaPook. He did the interviewing. They filmed me in my apartment doing my Nintendo DS Brain Games, they filmed Aimee & I eating breakfast. Later they filmed Aimee & I getting Mom up out of bed. Later, Jon interviewed Mom, Me and Aimee.

Later we went to the La. Research Assoc. where I has a lot of testing done prior to my first dose of study medication. They filmed there too. The crew left and went back to Mom & Dad's to film some more. Linda & I had to wait a while longer so I could have another EKG done. I was soooooo exhausted when the crew left the facility, I feel asleep on one of the sofas at the Research Center. Out like a light!!

Linda & I arrived home around 5:30pm and everyone (including my Aimee) was gone. Luckily, I was able to kiss her and say goodbye before she left (at the Research Center) Wonderful Michael drove her to the airport. She arrived home safely greeted by Eric and Turtle.

We ordered Pizza and everyone went to bed very early.

Everyone was wonderful yesterday! Especially my family! Gosh, I'm so blessed & lucky to have such a great family!!!
Elena with the local AD Assn came by. She's so sweet and helpful!

Dr Jon LaPook was very nice. Intelligent, Gentle, concerned and interested. He, also, had a great sense of humor! He really wants to help the Alzheimer's cause! That's great because we need all the help we can get!!!!!!!!!!

Today, was a wash out for me. I got up, had some coffee the went back to bed. Woke up again around 3:30pm. Took care of white dog and orange cat. Linda cooked dinner. We all ate and I did the dishes. I watched a little TV with Linda and Michael the came upstairs to do some Peer Volunteer work. After that, now I'm writing on my blog.

But, I'm very tired again so I must say good night.

I hope all of you are well. I will let you know when the show airs in January!

Peace and Hope,


Sunday, December 6, 2009

Sunday December 6th

Hi to All,

Everything seems to be going pretty well here. Mom is actually walking a little more. We had a hand rail put up in the hallway to assist her because she hates using her walker. She a tad more mobile which is great!

Today is Sunday. Dad & I, Linda & Michael are going to see Beauty and the Best. Gloria is coming to sit with Mom.

Linda & Michael's house is really coming along. It's starting to take shape. Hopefully, it will feel like home to them soon.

Aimee arrives this evening!! Wow, I can't wait to see her!! Happy Happy, Joy Joy!!

The CBS evening news arrives here tomorrow morning @ 7:30am! So early! It should be a wild and crazy day!

I've been rather tired lately and have had to take a nap here and there. My apartment is still a mess but I've been too tired to do much about it. So, I just live with it.

Jamey and her family are fine as well as Julie and her family!

I've spoken with Alexis (didn't see her for Thanksgiving) but she seems to be ok. We have a date on December 19th. I can't wait. I miss her!

I'll write more after all the commotion is over.

Thanks to All of you.

Peace and Hope,


Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Wow, It's December already!

Hi to All,

As you all know we survived and enjoyed Thanksgiving.

After the holidays and Aimee & Eric went back home, I've started working on my apartment again. Boxes, Tubs and more tubs and boxes to go through! Ahhhhhhhhhh! I still have way too much stuff! I have a lot more sorting to do.

It's wonderful having Linda & Michael here to help with Mom & me. Although Linda sometimes makes me mad with her lack of care of her diabetes (she wears an insulin pump), I love her and I'm so glad to have my sister back home!

White dog and orange cat are doing well. They are slowly adjusting to their new home.

My friend Keith came on Monday to help me with the boxes/tubs and the sorting. He's been great!

Aimee & Eric are OK. Aimee's been rather emotional waiting for her period to come down.

Haven't really spoken much with Jamey and her crew. I've called a few times but haven't received a call back. Hope they are all OK.

Julie and her family are fine.

What's up with me???? Well, I'm trying to get used to my new place. Sometimes, I still wake up not quite knowing where I am. I hope time will fix that! Still unpacking and organizing.

Oh, good news. Me and my family have been chosen by CBS evening news with Katie Couric to have our story told. Well, not exactly our story but the story of a family with multi-generational Alzheimers. They are coming in Sunday and will begin filming on Monday. It will air sometime in January. I'll let you know.

My wonderful daughter is flying back here Sunday to do the story with us on Monday!! She's tired (they just got back home from Thanksgiving), and has taken pills to bring her period down (it's been over 3 months). So, what a trooper she is!! I'm so lucky to have her for MY daughter! Thanks, Aims! I Love You!!

Linda and Michael are still in the process of unpacking and sorting. Michael is, also, in the process of setting up his new office here. They have been some busy bees!

Mom and Dad seem to be doing OK. We've had PT & OT come out and re-evaluate Mom to see if we can build up her strength and get her more mobile. Linda has volunteered to be the one to push Mom to walk more and do her exercises. As you know in the past, Mom and I butt heads pretty badly. I hope and pray Linda is more successful!

My headboard and bed frame came in so now my bed is off the floor. It looks great! Michael & Keith raised my TV so now I can watch TV in bed. YeeHaw!! I am living now!!! lol.

Oh, I start my new drug study this Monday so say a prayer for me that I get the drug and not the placebo!!!

Getting very tired. Wish you all a good night's sleep. Take care.

Peace and Hope,