Wednesday, September 30, 2009

"Countdown to Aimee"

Hi to All,

I'm counting the days until Aimee and Eric arrive. Today is Wednesday. Aimee arrives on Friday evening!! Two more days! Yea! I can't wait!!!

I went to the therapist today. She's working with me on trying to find meds to help with the anger. We discussed Cymbalta instead of Lexapro and perhaps adding Abilify. I don't know the cost of these drugs, so I'll check with the shrink on Monday.

She's, also, trying to help we accept the "New Me." The me with dementia. The me that is no longer me or the me I once knew and loved. Another loss!! I'm having problems accepting all these losses. I think once I no longer realize what's going on it might not be so bad. But now, I'm still with it enough to witness and feel my own decline! It's frightening and maddening at the same time!!

Each day becomes more difficult. I have been a fighter all my life. It's very hard trying to figure out what I should battle and what I should just let go of. And, this "new me" well, she sucks in my opinion! Finding a balance is very difficult along with still caring for my Mom.

After I came home from therapy, I checked on Mom & Dad, ate a salad and went to sleep. I was exhausted! I slept almost 2 hours! I guess therapy is still hard work! lol.

Jamey is still sick poor thing. Aimee cleaned her house today and exercised! yea, Aimee. Linda & Michael are still trying to pack and get ready to move.

Dad seems to be more tired lately. I'm not surprised because he does more care now and he's getting older.

I'm still looking forward to our Memory Walk this Saturday! I hope you have great weather and a good turn out!

Sleep Well All,

Peace and Hope,


Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Victorious Tuesday!

Hi to All,

Well, went to court today. It's about my ex owing me money on an educational loan I co-signed for him. Anyway, I won the judgement! Yes! Victory at last! It felt good!

I'm not exactily sure what happens next. He has 2 weeks to appeal the decision. Then, I guess I have to figure out how to get him to pay me back. I can't afford an attorney. Oh, I don't know. I'll play Scarlet today and worry about that tomorrow! Today, I'll bask in my victory!!

Things have been going OK at home. Mom's been sleeping more but seems ok. I'm on the mend physically (thank goodness). As for my AD, well, I'm declining. Next week I'm schedule for an MRI and EEG!

Aimee and Eric are coming in this Friday and I'm soooooo excited!! I can't wait to see them. Turtle too! I've been so lonesome for them!

Elena dropped off our Memory Walk tee shirts tonight. She's so great and thoughtful. It's wonderful having her as my friend!

My poor cousin Jamey has been sick as a dog! I feel so bad for her. Cold, fever, aches ickkk! I hope she feels better soon!

Linda and Michael are still plugging along with getting their house ready and packing. I know there are both getting pooped! Linda said today that Michael said she be here by Halloween!! Well, we'll see!

Our Memory Walk is this Saturday Oct. 3rd. I'm excited. I hope we have a good crowd! I'm lucky to have my family and friends walking with me!

I see my new therapist again tomorrow. I'll let you know how that goes.

Keith got a few closets painted upstairs today. Only 2 left! yes! Then, the moving begins! Ahhhhhhhhhh!

Well, I'm tired and I have to drive to therapy tomorrow so I need to try to get a good night's sleep!

Sleep well all.

Peace and Hope,


Sunday, September 27, 2009

Sunday, the first day of the week!

Hi to all.

Well, where should I start?

I had a major "Melt Down" Friday night! I was riding my new tricycle and fell down, hurt my left arm, elbow, hip, jaw, chin, head! I think I just snapped! I was lying in the street, so upset that I wrecked my new bike, I hurt myself (after a wonderful bike ride), and there wasn't anyone there to help me!!

I finally picked myself up and went inside, cleaned myself off (I looked like I had been abused) took ibuprofen and got ice! Then, the tears started and I couldn't stop them! I had seen the neurologist earlier in the week and she had spoken with me about not driving anymore, and I told her NO, that I would still drive because I could still determine a good day from a bad day. I guess I was feeling overwhelmed, unhappy, unloved and alone!!!

Later, I moved my beat up body to the tub where I attempted to soak away the pain, bruising and swelling! (that didn't help either).

Spent a short period of time with Mom and Dad. Mom was mean so I left!! I just couldn't handle it!

Later on, my cousin Jamey called, so she got the brunt of it!! I cried and cried and cried! Poor Jamey, She was so sweet but seemed lost too! But she's a good listener! Thank you, Jamey, I Love You!

Well, here I am. Still alive and kicking! Aimee made me promise not to ride my bike anymore until she comes on Friday.

Oh, That's the great news! Aimee, Eric and Turtle are coming this Friday!! I'm very excited to see all of them. They are driving in for the AD Memory Walk on Saturday!!! Yea!!

Jeff came by last night to help me take measurements on the upstairs apartment. Keith's here now to help me start cleaning and moving tomorrow.

Wow, I'm starting to feel rather overwhelmed about all this but, well, here goes!!

Hope you all are well. Please keep your fingers and toes crossed that all this goes well!

Peace and Hope,


Thursday, September 24, 2009

It's Thursday and I think I'm recovering.

Hi to All,

Wow, it Thursday already. This has been a crazy week for me! I'm still fighting this virus, saw my Pcp, neurologist, and new therapist all this week along with attending my EOAD support group today! Whew, now I know why I'm so tired! lol.

I didn't have any fever today so I think I'm over the hump with this virus thing! Still have a pretty bad cough, though. (It's always something, right?)

Mom and Dad seemed to have managed well without me which is really good to know. Dad's pretty tired but he and Gloria did great with Mom! And, even Mom helped by trying to keep walking!! Did, I tell you, my Mom is walking again!! Yea! She's erect (well, sort of) and walking with assistance!! I'm thrilled!! (Maybe I need to get sick more often, huh?!)

Have been talking with Aimee and Linda daily. Aimee's finally feeling better. And Linda is busy being a good neighbor and trying to get ready to move.

Jamey and her family are doing OK although Sarah told Jamey she was in her business too much! Wow, that really ticked me off! Jamey is a wonderful grandmother and is always taking care of those kids. Sarah and Adam have some nerve talking to her like that. Jamey is coming to visit Sunday and to go to court with me on Tuesday. I can't wait to see her. We always have fun together.

Aimee and Eric and Turtle are coming in next Weekend for Memory Walk!! I can't wait to see all of them. I am as anxious as a child! We'll have great fun and help raise money for Alzheimer's Research! Oh, and I'll cook them some crayfish etouffee!!!!! yum! ( I hope I remember how to cook it! lol!)

Saw a new therapist this week. I think it's going to be a good match! I'll be able to vent to her and tell her things I can't even share with my family!! Hope this will help more with my anger.

Spoke with Lynn today the Nurse Practioner with my neurologist (Lynn's great), I have declined. Anyway, I've decided to wean off my Geodon/Risperadol, then change my antidepressant and get more therapy to help
control my rage/anger.
Please, keep me in your thoughts and prayers. With all these changes, I'm not sure what's going to happen!

Still doing my Peer Volunteer work and enjoying it. We will begin training some new PV's tomorrow to help out. The AD Message Boards are growing (thank goodness) and we need more help! Also, working on our upcoming Memory Walk here in New Orleans on Oct. 3rd!!! If anyone wants to donate my team is called "Carbo's Family and Friends"

Hope everyone is doing well. Thanks for listening and sharing and caring!!

Peace and Hope,


Monday, September 21, 2009

I'm sick of being sick!

Hi to all. Went all day without fever or chills until late this afternoon.

Started with chills, the shakes then fever! Gosh, I'm so sick of being sick!! And, I feel rotten!

So far, Mom and Dad are OK. Please, keep praying!

When I'm feeling a little better I'll write a nice, long post and catch y'all up on everything!

Peace and Hope,

Thanks for hanging in there with me!


Sunday, September 20, 2009

Monday Sept 21st is World Alzheimer's Day!

Hi, to All.

Yes, I'm still sick but am on the mend. Fever's almost gone now.

FYI: Monday, September 21st is WORLD ALZHEIMER'S DAY!!

Everyone, please wear PURPLE and wear your AD pins and contact your officials!

Then, please speak with 5 people about AD/YOAD and ask them to speak with 5 people about AD/YOAD and so on....!

We need to ACT and be Visible!!!



Friday, September 18, 2009

Cool quote I heard

I was watching tv (can't remember the movie) but someone said "It's very difficult to be useful & unhappy at the same time!"

Think about that!

Cool, huh?

I gotta get some sleep now.

Good night all.


Still really sick

Hi to All. Just to let you know I'm still pretty sick. Fever stated again around 6 ish with chills and shakes. Cough and headache are pretty severe now. Body aches returning. My chest hurts from so much coughing!!

So far, Mom and Dad are OK. I've been staying away from them. Please, pray they don't catch this!!

I'll have to write later on.

Thanks. Sleep well all.


Coming into the Daylight

Hi to All.

Yes, I've survived! Wow, was I sick!! Temps almost 103! Chills, shakes, muscle spasms, cough, cold symptoms, the works! Fever finally broke at 6am today!

I'll write more later.


Thursday, September 17, 2009

I's really sick!

Hi to All,

Sorry I haven't posted in a while but I became really ill after my trip!

I thought it was bronchitis but now I think it might be H1N1. I'm on antibiotics, and as of yesterday pm and an inhaler. But my fevers are getting pretty high 102.2 and so on. I feel pretty cruddy!!

I have re-called my doctor to see if he will send me some tamiflu too.

I'll tell y'all about my wonderful trip to Dallas later.

I'm desperately trying to steer clear of Mom and Dad!

Peace and Hope,


Sunday, September 13, 2009

Crazy Times!

Hi to All. I haven't written because my life got a little crazy for a few days.

On Friday, I was bringing Mom to get her hair done (and I was getting my hair cut and highlighted) when Mom got stuck trying to get into the car. I'll try to briefly explain.
It was raining, so I decided to take Mom's car which Dad had parked under their carport but very close to the side of the house. Mom was actually walking OK. I opened the car door (which wouldn't open all the way) anyway, Mom started to get in with one leg then tried to sit. Anyway, she got STUCK half in and half out of the car. I dropped my purse to help her. Well, she was dead weight and couldn't help at all! The more I tried to help the more she screamed I was hurting her.

Finally, I decided to try to push the emergency button around her neck (it really made for inside the house). Nothing happened. We struggled for about 15 minutes (my back and lt. shoulder were killing me). I was trying to figure out how I could fall down and have Mom land on top of me. I was terrified she'd be badly injured!!! I couldn't figure that out so I started trying to reach my purse because mt cell phone was in it. Finally, got the cell phone and called Dad.

Dad was at the homestead and really couldn't hear me (He' really deaf) but finally he came (thank God) and we got Mom into the car!! I was exhausted and freaked!!

After we rested a few minutes, Mom still wanted to go get her hair done so I took her. I ladies at the shop (Pachuco) were wonderful and helped me get Mom in.

Wow, it was terrible! I was so afraid Mom would be seriously injured!

Later that evening, I was talking with Linda (my sister) on the phone telling her what happened. I told her I needed a drink!! lol. She told me to go soak in the tub for my back and shoulder and then have a drink. So, I went and soaked in the tub. Soaking actually felt good!! I got out of the tub then all hell broke loose.

I got out of the tub and was drying off. I became dizzy, terrible headache, short of breath, Chest pain, tried to walk to the bed and ran into the wall, fell down. I just couldn't walk straight!! I laid on the floor for a while and realized something was very wrong with me. Finally, crawled to my bed and called Lenny (my doctor) who happened to be on vacation in Florida. He instructed me to go to the ER!!! ( I thought I was having a stroke!)

Lenny, I said, I can't drive! He told me to call 911. I said NO that it would scare my parents to death (they live next door). Soooooooooo, I called Elena (the wonderful) who came and took me to the ER. Apparently Lenny had called telling them I was coming. Good. They fast tracked me. After a battery of tests the ER doctor told me I had a sever case of VERTIGO! They did give me some fluids and something for pain (head, back, neck). Finally, I said, If I didn't have a stroke, I want to go home!! So Finally, Elena took me home. I was loaded from the pain meds but I just went to bed. Elena was soooo wonderful!!!!

Yesterday, I was pretty wiped out. I did go get my nails done (for the trip today) then I came home and took a 2 1/2 hour nap. Packed, ate, and went to bed. Let Dad take care of Mom.

So, here I am. It's Sunday morning. I fed white dog and orange cat. I'm drinking some coffee. I'm pretty well packed. Oh, I'm flying to Dallas with Elena to speak at a Woman's Alzheimer's Awareness and Education group (A.W.A.R.E) tomorrow. Wishe me luck!!

My friend, Julie, is coming in to stay with Mom and DAD. God Bless Her!

I probably won't write again until Tuesday or Wednesday. I return home Tuesday late afternoon.

Aimee is still sick with a bad cold. Poor thing she's been battling it for days now.

Well, that's my story. Crazy, huh????

Peace and Hope to ALL,


Thursday, September 10, 2009

What does it mean I have Alzheimer's Disease?

Hi to all.

On the AD Message boards today I was trying to answer a question I had asked myself. The AD Message Boards are broken down into categories. I hope many of you will go there some time and check them out. One of the categories is "I have Alzheimer's." I started talking about what does it mean to say "I have Alzheimer's" I am continuing my thoughts now.

I said how now, 2 years after being diagnosed with EOAD, I was still trying to figure out what that means.

Well, I've lost my thoughts from the Message Boards so I'll have to start over. OK??

I was diagnosed at 53 now I'm 55. So what?? Well, I'm 2 years older. (that sucks).

Will I be me?? Well, who am I now? I'm not who I was before I was diagnosed. Do I recognize the new me? Who is new Me? Do I even like the new me?

I do know some things. I forget most things. If I didn't have my little daily notebook from Emory, I would be lost! I wouldn't remember anything. I check my book 3 times a day. It becomes fuller and fuller each day. I am forgetting more and more. It even reminds me to take my meds (because I forget to do that too). I even forget to eat or bathe sometimes.

I don't worry about having a terminal illness. Hopefully, something else will get me first.

I forget the names of things which really urks me!!! I start out with a thought and the "poof" it's gone with the wind!

I don't sleep well now. I don't seem to even be able to take naps anymore (which used to help me). I can't handle noise and TV makes me crazy (most of the time).
I can't read anymore although I do enjoy my daughter and sister reading aloud to me!

Most of the time I am angry or aggravated! Very seldom happy. I HATE feeling angry!!! It used to be foreign to me but now it's becoming the norm. I am working with a shrink on this. The Seroquel helped with the anger/rage but I blew up like a balloon which made me VERY unhappy and Angry! So, I scratched the Seroquel and started on Geodon, which by the way, I may have to stop because I can't afford it!

What will it be like as I decline? Will I still be me? Who am I now? Who will I become? Will I or my family be able to tolerate me or will I be just a pain in the butt?? A burden?? Is that what I have to look forward to? And what about my family, my daughter, my sister, my cousins and friends???? Will I still have any friends? I lost a lot of them already (including a long relationship of 8 years with a boyfriend).

Losses: They are too numerous to count. Loss of self, job, income, esteem, control, awareness, relationships, and independence just to name a few!

Should I go on? I don't think I will right now. I'm getting angry and tired. I don't know why I'm concerned that I'm tired because I don't sleep much anymore. I am so grumpy!!

I would like to get some good rest. I need it. I feeling scattered and frayed! And, I going to Dallas on Sunday to speak to A Women's Alzheimer's Awareness Educational Group on Monday! I hope I can get my thoughts together. God, please help me. Elena is going with me to help me thru the maze. She's so wonderful!

Goodnight All!

Peace and Hope,
Yes, believe it or not, I still have some hope and I do desperately need some peace! We ALL need them both!


Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Today was strange.

Hi. Didn't go to sleep last night or should I say this morning until 3:30am. Just couldn't sleep!
Woke up @ 8am only to realize that Dad was leaving for work and Gloria was arriving. Thank God for wonderful Gloria! My butt was really dragging. Keith was already up (well, he had gone to bed about 11:00pm) drinking coffee and watching TV (of course). Keith doesn't have cable at home so he becomes a TV nut here!

Checked on Mom and gave her morning meds. Gloria was there to see to her other needs (thank goodness). I made my coffee and sat in silence for a few minutes.

Somehow, today felt strange. I can't really explain it but I felt different. Perhaps it was the lack of sleep, I don't know. I found the sterling silver dolphin necklace my sister Linda gave me. I love it. I cleaned it and put it on. It made me happy!

I fed my animals and let them out. Checked on Mom briefly. Keith was kinda talking a lot which was grating on my nerves. I had things to do today. I had a dental appointment (cleaning). I had to go purchase Mom a gel pad for her recliner. Both the expensive blow up pads I had bought were leaking. Dad & I tired to repair them (again) but were unsuccessful. Luckily, Mom still has no skin breakdown and I want to keep it that way!

After my dental appointment, Keith and I went to a place called Total Health Solutions. We looked around at gel pads, spoke with a knowledgeable salesman, then looked around some more for some better diapers. Mom's been having sooooo many accidents even with pads inside the diapers, I decided to start shopping again for something better. the saleman gave me 2 samples to try. I, also, purchased a grab handle to put Mom's spoon in as she's been having great difficulty with her tremors.

Then, went to c's pharmacy to pick-up some items for my upcoming trip to Dallas. Called Dad to tell him I was at C's and that I would pick up he and Mom's prescriptions but he said "No" that he would pick them up himself because he needed other things (whatever that means).

Made in home in time to allow Gloria to leave at 3pm. I was excited about the gel pad so I took it out of the box and showed Mom. When she asked how much it cost, she freaked out and became angry! (I had told her the price 2 times earlier already). I tried to calm her down. I got her up, removed the old pillow and replaced it with the gel pad. She still wasn't satisfied. Then, I took out the knee brace I purchased for her at C's and placed it on her knee. She looked and frowned. I reminded her that she had been complaining of knee pain so I bought this to support her knee. She said OK but didn't seem very happy about it.

Dad came home later so I went to bring Keith home to go back to work. White dog took the ride with me. He seemed to have fun!

When I returned from Keith's, I went to check on Mom and Dad. Mom was complaining about the new knee brace hurting so I removed it. Later, I made dinner. Mom was very picky today yet she slept a lot. I'm not sure what was going on with her except she is declining. Dad's still tired and in denial. I don't think Mom walked a step today! Ah, oh well. I'm just trying to do the best I can. It just seemed like everything I did today wasn't right for Mom. Sometimes, it's so hard. I want to please her and make her comfortable but she sometimes makes me soooooooooo angry!! ( I wonder if this new Geodon is working?). This anger still turns rageful at times. I just don't know.

I was planning to talk about End of Life issues tonight but I kinda got off track. I'm tired again so I'll have to discuss that another time.

Thanks for reading and listening. I always enjoy your comments!

Peace and Hope,

"Oh God, Sometimes the Green Mile seems so Long."


I think today is Labor day?

Mom, Dad and I started today with a bang. Mom being incontinent with a decreased level of consciousness. Not a great way to start the day. Anyway, Gave Mom meds and fed her (cleaned he up, of course) and decided to was time for a talk with Mom and the later Dad.

Dad went off to walk in the mall and decrease his stress and get away from Mom. I'm sure it is very difficult emotionally as well as physically fro Dad. After all, they've been married 60 years! But, Dad needed to get away! So, I stayed with Mom.

I had a talk with Mom about end of life issues and what her wishes were. For example: Did she want to just continue to decline and lay in her recliner and become bed bound? Or, would she choose to be more active in her care? In other words, to actively participate by setting realistic goals and the working on them daily. Mom wanted to think about it but I did tell her the evils of being inactive and a couch/chair potato. She is heading towards being bed bound in the not so near future at this rate. I told her to think about how she wanted to spend the latter part of her life. Either laying in a recliner and the bed or deciding to be more active and work thru some of her pain/discomfort. I explained to her that we were ALL here to help if she would give it a good college try! I, also, told her I missed my old Mom and the fact the we used to go out and shop, go to lunch and have fun. I'd love to have that happen again and that I would be here to help her. Mom seemed to want these things too but was not willing to commit to a get well program!

Later, Dad came home after his walk. We discussed Mom and her situation (in front of Mom, of course). Mom had NOT made a decision at that point. I told Dad I would respect Mom's decision what ever that might be. He tended to want to force Mom to be more active and I disagreed. We are awaiting Mom's decision.

I, also, discussed the fact that Mom had told me that she and Dad were considering suicide (together)and that Dad had in fact checked on line as to how to go about it!! Dad was angry at first but then he mellowed some. I asked Dad to please be open and honest about their plans. I told them I would NOT interfere but that the family really needed to know if this was a reality!!!!

Linda and Michael are planning to sell/rent their home in NJ to move here to be with them and me. I told my folks that it would not be fair to Linda and Michael to uproot and then have Mom and Dad carry out their plans especially within a short period of time. I again encourage my folks to attend some AD support groups! They both refused. AAAhhhhhh!

This has been a very tough weekend! I felt needed to have these difficult conversations with my parents because I love them and I am trying to understand.

Somehow they felt we all might be better off without them and that we would inherit some money. This really angered me!!! The money that Dad has made over the years has been put aside to take care of he and Mom. That's what it's there for!!! NOT to leave us an inheritance!!!!! My parents were a bit shocked about how angry I became over the money thing. "That money is for YOU and Mom as that will help us take good care of both of you!!" ( Neither want to be placed in a nursing home). It was NEVER meant for our inheritance!! It's YOUR money!!!!!

Later on, Mom and Dad assured me that the suicide plans they had talked about was a few weeks ago when they were both down and depressed. But that they are feeling better about things now. (I can just hope they are telling me the truth!)

But, believe it or not, I would NOT interfere with their plans if they truly decided that's what they wanted. I believe we all should have a say so in our end of life. My Dad is still of a sound mind capable of making rational decisions. He makes them everyday. He still works 2 jobs and is in pretty good health. My Mom, on the other hand had not been so fortunate with her health. But, she has, also, given up for a few years now and NOT tried to get better other than taking meds! She has some confusion but still does basicly understand what is going on most of the time.

So, here I am. It's been a rather stressful weekend! I picked up Keith today and he's been helping me sort thru things and move some boxes and get rid of some stuff. (Thank goodness).

Aimee has developed a bad cold with flu like symptoms. I told her if she was still feeling really bad tomorrow to go to her doctor to be checked for swine flu!!! She and Eric attended Dragon Con in Atlanta and it was packed with people for all over the world! Many people were ill but didn't stay home!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!

Linda and Michael having been working all weekend (especially Michael) trying to get ready to move. They are exhausted!! Poor Michael!

Jamey and Derek and their kids and grand kids went to Florida for the holiday weekend.

My good friends Lisa and Rich are doing OK. Rich is recovering from surgery but needed 2 pints of blood today. I keep hoping and praying for a good prognosis! We're all still on pins and needles waiting for those final reports!!

For anyone facing difficult decisions regarding end of life issues, there is a great book called "Hard choices for Loving People." In fact, you may be able to download it on line. Go to the AD website to find out more!

I'm tired now again. I wanted to talk more about end of life issues but I just can't write now. My mind is becoming mush! Being an ex-hospice nurse I have some VERY strong feelings about end of life issues including comfort and death but I'll have to speak about them another time.

Peace and Hope to All,


Saturday, September 5, 2009

Saturdays sometimes suck!

Hi. Well, today kinda sucked. Mom's just declining, being incontinent and loosing her ability to walk. She was rather confused today. I dread the day when Mom becomes bedbound. I don't think that is too far away now. I did walk with her a bit this am but tried this afternoon and she couldn't pick-up her feet and kept trying to walk bent over. She gets so upset with me when I remind her to stand up straight or to walk closer to her walker! I think she is suffering with a combination of problems. I think she is forgetting HOW to walk and is now becoming unable to walk. From what I remember in doing Hospice is that loosing her ability to walk makes her end stage dementia. The doctors now think she has a combination dementia (vascular and AD).

This is very sad and becoming more difficult to deal with. Unfortunately, both Dad and I both have bad backs so Mom's becoming a handful!! Soon, she'll be unable to assist us at all then we will be unable to get her up out of the bed. OMG, I dread that so terribly!! To me, being bedbound is worse than death!!! Because no matter how much good care we'll give her, her skin will break down. Turn every 2 hours, pillows, special mattresses, the works!! I have been working so hard and watching her skin so carefully to keep that from happening!! Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Changing the subject. Spoke with Aimee today. She and Eric had a great time at Dragon Con yesterday! They met Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner (They are trekkie fans), Aimee met Malcolm McDowell, and the boy who plays Drako in Harry Potter movies. It was a long, hard but fun day! Eric was volunteering again today!

Spoke with Michael and Linda too. Everything is OK. They are very busy getting things ready to move here in a couple of months! They both seem pretty stressed!

I'm very worried about Alexis. She is having a very hard time because Rusty has thrown her aside for his newest conquest!! He has treated her like a princess up until now. Her heart is broken as is mine for her. (Her Mom is pretty crazy too). I guess Alexis is doomed at 13!! Her Mom refuses to get Alexis any therapy help! AAAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!! And, there's NOTHING I can do to help her!!

I received some very upsetting news on Wednesday. I very good friend of mine (Lisa) called to tell me that her hubby (Rich) was diagnosed with Colon cancer!! We don't know his prognosis yet. He's had the surgery and is recovering. Now, we're just waiting for the results of all the tests and bxs. If you believe in the power of prayer, please pray for them. They are a lovely couple with 2 children (15 and 17). My heart aches for them. I love them and their children very much. They've been very good to me and my entire family. I know how hard it is to wait for results.
My husband died of cancer in 1982!!!

Changing the subject again, I am dieting again. Since I'm off the Seroquel and now taking Geodon, I seem to have more control over my eating. Wish me luck! I'm so unhappy being a P-I-G (Hog)! As I've said before, I've gained 30 pounds in 2 years. It's awful! And, I'm soooo unhappy being fat!! I am trying very hard to be successful. I've even ordered an adult tricycle to be more active!!

Something nice did happen today. I called my friend Kendal and asked her to go shopping with me. I needed to buy a dress for the Dallas trip. (Too fat to fit in any of my old dresses). She and I did have a good time shopping.

I'm finding it more difficult to shop now. I get confused and overwhelmed in the stores. Kendal was an angel!

Oh, I took a fall today in my living room. I tripped over the computer cord!! (what a klutz). Hit the ground, Hit my knee, arm and twisted my back. (At least I didn't hit my head this time) lol. I'm very sore now. I'm sure tomorrow will be worse!

Thanks for listening and being there. I have more to write but I'm getting too tired now. I've been thinking about end of life and death issues. I'll try to get my thought together and write about them soon.

Peace and Hope,


Friday, September 4, 2009

It's already Friday again!

Hi to All. Sorry I haven't posted in a while but a lot has been going on.

Dad continues to do well post op. (although he really doesn't follow all the doctor's orders). Mom continues her slow decline with little ambulation and been a lounge chair potato. Her incontinence is still getting worse. And now. her kidney functions are declining!

I had a rough few days. With Mom and Dad being difficult, working on the apartment, and trying to get Mom's doctor's appointments. Her labs were done but not completely and have not been faxed to all the appropriate doctors. Ahhhhhhhhh! Calgon, take me away! lol.

Both white dog and orange cat are doing fine. They are both in with me write now as I type on this blog!

I had serious words/screaming from and with my ex for a couple of days. That always makes life so much more pleasant. lol.

I will be doing next weekend to Dallas with Elena to speak at an A.W.A.R.E group. I, also, may do some tv and radio.

The AD message Boards seems to have calmed down a bit. Perhaps it's the holiday weekend??

I keep hanging on. I hope y'all do to.

I'm really tired and need to go to bed now.


Tuesday, September 1, 2009

A New Month has started.

Hi. Dad's post-op check-up early this am went well. The doctor was pleased and Dad's eye pressure was normal! Good, so far. The doc told Dad to take it easy for the next few days and not to drive, bend or lift! He started his post-op eye drops. They need to be given 4 x a day! Got Dad home (of course, we had to stop at the post office first). He did take a short nap and then went to the office! Ahhh!

Gloria came to be with Mom today so it gave me a little free time. Keith and I worked on the upstairs apartment again. It's pretty much ready for the floors to be laid! Yes!

Later, I did some shopping. Got Mom some incontinent supplies (getting harder to keep up with the demand). In fact, Mom is having more and more accidents! She says he doesn't get the urge until it's too late. We went thru 3 pj bottoms and 2 robes after her bath. Ahhhh!!

Fed Mom and Dad dinner. Cleaned up the dishes and stuff. Oh my gosh, I put clothes in the washer earlier that I have forgotten!

Gotta run and take care of some things. Just put Mom and Dad to bed!

Sleep well All.