Today was strange.

Hi. Didn't go to sleep last night or should I say this morning until 3:30am. Just couldn't sleep!
Woke up @ 8am only to realize that Dad was leaving for work and Gloria was arriving. Thank God for wonderful Gloria! My butt was really dragging. Keith was already up (well, he had gone to bed about 11:00pm) drinking coffee and watching TV (of course). Keith doesn't have cable at home so he becomes a TV nut here!

Checked on Mom and gave her morning meds. Gloria was there to see to her other needs (thank goodness). I made my coffee and sat in silence for a few minutes.

Somehow, today felt strange. I can't really explain it but I felt different. Perhaps it was the lack of sleep, I don't know. I found the sterling silver dolphin necklace my sister Linda gave me. I love it. I cleaned it and put it on. It made me happy!

I fed my animals and let them out. Checked on Mom briefly. Keith was kinda talking a lot which was grating on my nerves. I had things to do today. I had a dental appointment (cleaning). I had to go purchase Mom a gel pad for her recliner. Both the expensive blow up pads I had bought were leaking. Dad & I tired to repair them (again) but were unsuccessful. Luckily, Mom still has no skin breakdown and I want to keep it that way!

After my dental appointment, Keith and I went to a place called Total Health Solutions. We looked around at gel pads, spoke with a knowledgeable salesman, then looked around some more for some better diapers. Mom's been having sooooo many accidents even with pads inside the diapers, I decided to start shopping again for something better. the saleman gave me 2 samples to try. I, also, purchased a grab handle to put Mom's spoon in as she's been having great difficulty with her tremors.

Then, went to c's pharmacy to pick-up some items for my upcoming trip to Dallas. Called Dad to tell him I was at C's and that I would pick up he and Mom's prescriptions but he said "No" that he would pick them up himself because he needed other things (whatever that means).

Made in home in time to allow Gloria to leave at 3pm. I was excited about the gel pad so I took it out of the box and showed Mom. When she asked how much it cost, she freaked out and became angry! (I had told her the price 2 times earlier already). I tried to calm her down. I got her up, removed the old pillow and replaced it with the gel pad. She still wasn't satisfied. Then, I took out the knee brace I purchased for her at C's and placed it on her knee. She looked and frowned. I reminded her that she had been complaining of knee pain so I bought this to support her knee. She said OK but didn't seem very happy about it.

Dad came home later so I went to bring Keith home to go back to work. White dog took the ride with me. He seemed to have fun!

When I returned from Keith's, I went to check on Mom and Dad. Mom was complaining about the new knee brace hurting so I removed it. Later, I made dinner. Mom was very picky today yet she slept a lot. I'm not sure what was going on with her except she is declining. Dad's still tired and in denial. I don't think Mom walked a step today! Ah, oh well. I'm just trying to do the best I can. It just seemed like everything I did today wasn't right for Mom. Sometimes, it's so hard. I want to please her and make her comfortable but she sometimes makes me soooooooooo angry!! ( I wonder if this new Geodon is working?). This anger still turns rageful at times. I just don't know.

I was planning to talk about End of Life issues tonight but I kinda got off track. I'm tired again so I'll have to discuss that another time.

Thanks for reading and listening. I always enjoy your comments!

Peace and Hope,

"Oh God, Sometimes the Green Mile seems so Long."

LCC