I think today is Labor day?

Mom, Dad and I started today with a bang. Mom being incontinent with a decreased level of consciousness. Not a great way to start the day. Anyway, Gave Mom meds and fed her (cleaned he up, of course) and decided to was time for a talk with Mom and the later Dad.

Dad went off to walk in the mall and decrease his stress and get away from Mom. I'm sure it is very difficult emotionally as well as physically fro Dad. After all, they've been married 60 years! But, Dad needed to get away! So, I stayed with Mom.

I had a talk with Mom about end of life issues and what her wishes were. For example: Did she want to just continue to decline and lay in her recliner and become bed bound? Or, would she choose to be more active in her care? In other words, to actively participate by setting realistic goals and the working on them daily. Mom wanted to think about it but I did tell her the evils of being inactive and a couch/chair potato. She is heading towards being bed bound in the not so near future at this rate. I told her to think about how she wanted to spend the latter part of her life. Either laying in a recliner and the bed or deciding to be more active and work thru some of her pain/discomfort. I explained to her that we were ALL here to help if she would give it a good college try! I, also, told her I missed my old Mom and the fact the we used to go out and shop, go to lunch and have fun. I'd love to have that happen again and that I would be here to help her. Mom seemed to want these things too but was not willing to commit to a get well program!

Later, Dad came home after his walk. We discussed Mom and her situation (in front of Mom, of course). Mom had NOT made a decision at that point. I told Dad I would respect Mom's decision what ever that might be. He tended to want to force Mom to be more active and I disagreed. We are awaiting Mom's decision.

I, also, discussed the fact that Mom had told me that she and Dad were considering suicide (together)and that Dad had in fact checked on line as to how to go about it!! Dad was angry at first but then he mellowed some. I asked Dad to please be open and honest about their plans. I told them I would NOT interfere but that the family really needed to know if this was a reality!!!!

Linda and Michael are planning to sell/rent their home in NJ to move here to be with them and me. I told my folks that it would not be fair to Linda and Michael to uproot and then have Mom and Dad carry out their plans especially within a short period of time. I again encourage my folks to attend some AD support groups! They both refused. AAAhhhhhh!


This has been a very tough weekend! I felt needed to have these difficult conversations with my parents because I love them and I am trying to understand.

Somehow they felt we all might be better off without them and that we would inherit some money. This really angered me!!! The money that Dad has made over the years has been put aside to take care of he and Mom. That's what it's there for!!! NOT to leave us an inheritance!!!!! My parents were a bit shocked about how angry I became over the money thing. "That money is for YOU and Mom as that will help us take good care of both of you!!" ( Neither want to be placed in a nursing home). It was NEVER meant for our inheritance!! It's YOUR money!!!!!

Later on, Mom and Dad assured me that the suicide plans they had talked about was a few weeks ago when they were both down and depressed. But that they are feeling better about things now. (I can just hope they are telling me the truth!)

But, believe it or not, I would NOT interfere with their plans if they truly decided that's what they wanted. I believe we all should have a say so in our end of life. My Dad is still of a sound mind capable of making rational decisions. He makes them everyday. He still works 2 jobs and is in pretty good health. My Mom, on the other hand had not been so fortunate with her health. But, she has, also, given up for a few years now and NOT tried to get better other than taking meds! She has some confusion but still does basicly understand what is going on most of the time.

So, here I am. It's been a rather stressful weekend! I picked up Keith today and he's been helping me sort thru things and move some boxes and get rid of some stuff. (Thank goodness).

Aimee has developed a bad cold with flu like symptoms. I told her if she was still feeling really bad tomorrow to go to her doctor to be checked for swine flu!!! She and Eric attended Dragon Con in Atlanta and it was packed with people for all over the world! Many people were ill but didn't stay home!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!


Linda and Michael having been working all weekend (especially Michael) trying to get ready to move. They are exhausted!! Poor Michael!

Jamey and Derek and their kids and grand kids went to Florida for the holiday weekend.

My good friends Lisa and Rich are doing OK. Rich is recovering from surgery but needed 2 pints of blood today. I keep hoping and praying for a good prognosis! We're all still on pins and needles waiting for those final reports!!

For anyone facing difficult decisions regarding end of life issues, there is a great book called "Hard choices for Loving People." In fact, you may be able to download it on line. Go to the AD website to find out more!

I'm tired now again. I wanted to talk more about end of life issues but I just can't write now. My mind is becoming mush! Being an ex-hospice nurse I have some VERY strong feelings about end of life issues including comfort and death but I'll have to speak about them another time.

Peace and Hope to All,

LCC